Thursday, April 7, 2011

Which is One is the Better Choice


Which is One is the Better Choice?
Which description is better for a book? I really want to avoid sounding so dramatic. 1: A foggy mid-September morning in Somereset. Brenda Ortiz, 14, Latina, big brown eyes, purple waves, a freshmen arrives at the stairs of Wellington High School. Her black skull bandana tied around her head and her strapless red dress reveal her rebellious nature. 2: A foggy mid-September morning, Brenda Ortiz, Latina, 14, big brown eyes rides her bike down to Wellington High School. Her newly dyed purple stresses and the skull bandana worn around her head reveals her rebellious nature. She is the not the type of girl you would want to make upset. Which sounds better and what do I need to work on? Thanks for your advice.
Polls & Surveys - 2 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
the first one because it leaves you to want to know more about the girl. also it sounds better than the second one which sounds almost like a bio than a story.
2 :
The first one.