Ok, so my fiance and I have been together for 8 years. He left home because she hated me. I don't know why she hated me, she just decided to. Something about deciding I was the reason he broke up with his abusive ex girlfriend, because we got together 2 months after they broke up. She forbade me from going near their home, and spread rumours about me being a 'bad influence' around her work (she worked at a supermarket, and knew a lot of people around our small town). I was a scholarship student at the time, and there was no substance to her accusations. We left this town for the time I was at uinversity, and I met with and talked to his sisters who liked me, but managed to almost forget about this b*tch. I got laid off at work, and we moved to a city half an hour away from this town, because he had a high paying job offer here. Now she's up to her old tricks again. For instance, his 17 year old sister (whose always liked me) had a family get together for her birthday today. I went along - to the public venue - and was ordered to leave. I honestly thought she might have grown up during our years in Wellington. I let my fiance stay, but because I didn't want to ruin his sister's birthday, I left. I caught her snooping around the back of our house the other day. I don't think I'll invite her to the wedding, but I wish I could be a part of his family, and she's keeping me from doing that. What can I do? Oh, and I can't spend time with her. She won't let me near her. Darling, he hates her. He spends time with her for the sole purpose of interacting with his younger sisters who are still in her custody. We moved away for 5 years, and he didn't see her once during those years. Our future interactions are already doomed. It's been 8 years, and she won't get over whatever issues she has with me. Chances are, she'd object at our wedding. My fiance and I discussed it. His whole family is coming, except her. My whole family is coming. I just want to know if there's any way to be a part of his family, and I don't think there is.
Family - 7 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Refuse to associate with her. She's nothing but trouble.
2 :
I don't think "you" can decide whether or not she comes to the wedding. You and your fiancé will have to decide together. If she isn't invited, she likely will never forgive you (not him) and it will decide the future of your interaction with her. Regarding your presence at a public venue, your fiancé owes it to you to stand up for you. If you aren't welcome, he should stay away,too.
3 :
Make believe she is dead. Ignore her, she does not exist. Get on with your life. Your boyfriend should stick up for you.
4 :
His mother has major ISSUES, hon, and it has nothing to do with you. Some people are just hateful like that, or it may be that she has a bona fide personality disorder or something. It sounds as though you've been handling her about as well as you possibly could. If I were you, I'd consider having a very small nice destination wedding somewhere in the Carribean and far from her. i've seen instances where mothers like that have shown up at weddings even though they're uninvited, and still manage to ruin the day. Just a suggestion. If she's been this way for eight years, the odds of her changing are zero to none. MAYBE she'd change if you have children and she wants to be a part of their lives. But it's just as likely that she'd do even more obnoxious and hurtful things involving the children. The best of luck to you. Just remember, you're marrying her son, and HE is going to have to be the one to manage her and demand that she either respect you or leave you alone.
5 :
you need to take the power away from her and stop trying to make her like you. if she does not like you for who you are, then who cares. move on and dont think about her anymore. certainly your future husband does not want his mother to abuse you. if he does not take a stand now, he never will. do you really want to marry someone who allows his mother to run wild and not make her accept responsibility? tell her to go away, make it official with the police if necessary, and stop all communication with her. thats what I'd do.
6 :
Maybe she thinks you steal away her only son, maybe she is so jealous that her son loves you and cares you so much, anyway, if you are going to marry her son then his family is your family, and it seems that the wedding is the only chance to break the ice, be kind and generous towards her, invite her to the wedding, let she involves the arrangement of the wedding, talk to her in a sincere way, your boyfriend will see it and appreciate what you do, if she still expels you, then she is one creates problem, not you.
7 :
Motherinlawhell.com you are not alone. She will not change.
