New Zealand insurance, has this happened to you?
About a month ago an American tourist pulled out infront of me causing an accident. The police, the tourist and myself all agreed that he was in the wrong as he did not indicate or give way to traffic coming straight through. After swapping information and filling out forms for his insurance he told me he would make a report to the rental car company when he got down to Wellington. We were all very nice to this tourist, the cop gave him a warning instead of a ticket and I helped him out to find the nearest Repco (he needed a bungy to close the boot) and made sure he was all ok before sorting myself out (i was 14 weeks pregnant) Here we are a month later and I just found out that he did not make a report in Wellington... he instead waited until the end of his holiday, dropped the car off at the rental car company in Auckland after hours and took off back to America! The rental car company's insurance broker is now saying that they will not pay out because this tourist needed to fill out a report, because he didnt they have no knowledge of the accident and will not pay out. We had rung the rental car company AND the insurance broker on the day of the accident and were told by them that they expected him to report to them in Wellington, so they had some knowledge and I would assume they noticed the car was damaged when they got to work the next day and saw it all smashed up??!!?? This wouldnt be a problem, except our own insurance had lapsed 2 days before the accident (ill also add for ppl not in new zealand, you are not required to have insurance here and if the accident is not your fault then it is the other persons insurance that must pay out anyway) I know we would win if it went to court, but it doesnt seem very fair that I should have to go to such extreme measures.... makes me not want to be as trusting to the next tourist I meet either, which is a shame. Has anything like this happened to you? How long did it take for the issue to resolve? Yea... had the insurance been in my name I would have kept it up to date... sadly the car is actually owned by my boyfriend and his mother Im having the car and insurance put in my name as soon as this mess it sorted... that way I will know everything is done.
Other - New Zealand - 2 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Very interesting question. It's all very well being wise after the event but even though we are not required to carry insurance it does make things so much easier in cases like this. Your insurance company then handles all the negotiating etc. for you. Regular monthly payments has taken away the problem of insurance lapsing. I feel in your case now you might just have to fork out a little to a lawyer to at least write a letter to the insurance broker and rental car company. Get him to say you are prepared to take it to "Fair Go" - that often works as they wont want the publicity ! I do know from experience that insurance companies / brokers are loath to deal with individuals and also rental car companies are notoriously difficult to deal with when there is a problem. A good lawyer might be able to "cut through" some of the rubbish and delaying tactics. If you can't afford this and/or your vehicle damage is quite minor then try the "Fair Go" threat yourselves if they start messing you around. Apart from failing to renew your insurance you have done everything right. By the way not all tourists are bad and we certainly need lots of them in NZ. Cheers and the best of luck
2 :
As Bloodnok says, Fair Go could be very interested. But be prepared to carry through with any threat to go to Fair Go. -And just because you write to Fair Go, there's no certainty of them taking your case up. There's also a lesson here. It's better to have insurance and not need it, than to need it and not have it. Your beef is now with the rental car co and their insurance co (not their broker). The Police, although not ticketing the driver, will still have the event recorded on their file. Ask for a copy of it. Chase up eye-witnesses (if any). Get a statement from each and have them swear on its veracity before a JP. Gather up as much detail as possible, perhaps even the tourist's name and Visa Card details (he probably used it to pay Repco), and make an appointment at the Citizens' Advice Bureau to see a lawyer. Don't hang about, there's work to be done, and done ASAP. Best of luck.
Friday, January 21, 2011
Friday, January 14, 2011
How can I convince my parents to move in with a good friend of mine
How can I convince my parents to move in with a good friend of mine?
I'm in the 8th grade and have just moved to Wellington, Florida from Tallahassee, Florida because my dad's job. I Absolutely hate it here and really miss my friends. I used to be kinda popular at my old school and had great, cool, and funny friends. But over here I'm just lonely. I would do almost anything to move back to Tallahassee and my friend called me saying that I could stay with him in his house for the year and go back to school at my old school. I asked my parents and they said no because I would be away from them and they would miss me. I tried telling them that I would visit often and my friend's family was great. Also, I could take high school credit classes if i stayed with my friend so this is for educational purposes. It is a 6 hour car ride, but I am willing to do that every weekend if I have to, I'm not going to give up soon. But, none of this seems to be working and I even begged them(like I said before I would do almost anything to go back to my school and friends). I told them that everybody would be happy because I get to spend time with my friends and work on my education and they won't miss me that much because I will visit often. I don't know why any of this hasen't worked yet. So my question is what else can I do to convince my parents to let me stay with my friend in his nice house because I really need to go to my old school,I'm really sad here. Thanks I really need help with this.
Family - 2 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
It's time to close that old book and get used to reading a new book, I know it's tough on you I can understand that but you see all your doing is making it a lot worse for you and for your parents because your making them feel like they haven't been providing for you as good as they thought. Maybe it is time for a new beginning make new friends don't act like the friends you've always known will be the only ones you will have for the rest of your life. Think of this as an opportunity to meet new probably much funnier people where you live. This is still a chance to get involved with others at your new school, don't be afraid. Who knows maybe ask your parents if over the weekends you can go visit you friends that way you won't forget about them, believe me you friends won't be crying about the fact that your gone, they'll miss you for a couple of weeks then get over. Maybe you should too. Friends are cool but family is forever.
2 :
Just be yourself. It doesn't matter if it's good enough for someone else.
I'm in the 8th grade and have just moved to Wellington, Florida from Tallahassee, Florida because my dad's job. I Absolutely hate it here and really miss my friends. I used to be kinda popular at my old school and had great, cool, and funny friends. But over here I'm just lonely. I would do almost anything to move back to Tallahassee and my friend called me saying that I could stay with him in his house for the year and go back to school at my old school. I asked my parents and they said no because I would be away from them and they would miss me. I tried telling them that I would visit often and my friend's family was great. Also, I could take high school credit classes if i stayed with my friend so this is for educational purposes. It is a 6 hour car ride, but I am willing to do that every weekend if I have to, I'm not going to give up soon. But, none of this seems to be working and I even begged them(like I said before I would do almost anything to go back to my school and friends). I told them that everybody would be happy because I get to spend time with my friends and work on my education and they won't miss me that much because I will visit often. I don't know why any of this hasen't worked yet. So my question is what else can I do to convince my parents to let me stay with my friend in his nice house because I really need to go to my old school,I'm really sad here. Thanks I really need help with this.
Family - 2 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
It's time to close that old book and get used to reading a new book, I know it's tough on you I can understand that but you see all your doing is making it a lot worse for you and for your parents because your making them feel like they haven't been providing for you as good as they thought. Maybe it is time for a new beginning make new friends don't act like the friends you've always known will be the only ones you will have for the rest of your life. Think of this as an opportunity to meet new probably much funnier people where you live. This is still a chance to get involved with others at your new school, don't be afraid. Who knows maybe ask your parents if over the weekends you can go visit you friends that way you won't forget about them, believe me you friends won't be crying about the fact that your gone, they'll miss you for a couple of weeks then get over. Maybe you should too. Friends are cool but family is forever.
2 :
Just be yourself. It doesn't matter if it's good enough for someone else.
Friday, January 7, 2011
help me decide what to do with me life
help me decide what to do with me life?
i really need to stop this feeling. it's like i'm spiraling. like i just don't care. and i really don't. all i care aqbout is not focusing oon this feeling so that i can start attracting some positivity into my life but i just cant! i 'm trying to find my passion, but i dont know what it is. I'm scared all the time. i have panic attacks. i exercise and eat well. i gave up cigarettes a few weeks ago to see if that would help but i'm just more of a mess now. it's not stopping! how do i make it stop? is this life all about drifting in circles, working to pay bills. i want to work to live not live to work but at the moment, i don;t know what to do with myself. everything i do i dont want to do it. i always want to be doing something else. i think i am making a mistake in my life. i just moved to sydney from nz 4 months ago. i don't feel like i belong here. i stayed in wellington affter i finished uni too. but i left after a few months too. i'm just so overwhelmed. there's too much there and i'm terrified of failure,. i was a b grase student. and i id a BA which just seems like i wasted so much time doing it and now i don't even use it. i'm horrified at the prospect of living this life. My job ends in 3 weeks. i got offered a job in a travel agency but i'm freaked about working in that environment. i just cant face life at the moment. i'm so horribly overwhelmed. my uncle said he will buy me a ticket back to nz. i'm just scared that i'll take this panic with me . i know i'm only 22 and i ahve my whole life ahead of me, but i'm nit excited about that. i'm intensly terrified of doing this for my whole life. 'help
Psychology - 5 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
fuck that. get on it. sacrafice you're intelligence. Let your heart do the work
2 :
Aye I have good news for you my friend. I usetoo have the same feeling. Like everything you do is pointless. Jesus is the answer. Ever since I accepted Jesus in my life, I have found so much purpose in life. Right now as I'm writing I feel so much joy for you because I know there's hope. Ask Jesus in your life and He will changed your life. Ask him into your heart and forgive you of your sins. I promise you you won't regret it. Peace to you brother
3 :
I really don't know enough about you to be able to provide much specific advice but I can provide general advice. Based on my reading of your question, you seem to be a bit too scattered. No wonder you are confused. A human mind is a lot like a computer. Just as your computer gets bogged down and even experiences crashes if you try to run too many programs and applications at once, our minds can react the same way. You obviously have a strong mind capable of rational thought and careful deliberation or you wouldn't have succeeded to earn a degree. So what can you do? You need to find a way to focus. It is imperative that you learn to prioritize your thinking. Did you ever notice people seem to feel better after talking about a problem, even if they don't come up with a solutions at the moment? Or that all psychological counseling revolves around talking? There is a reason. When we think about things, our mind can go in several different directions at once. While that is an advantage for multitasking, it can also cause us to divide and dilute our thinking and reasoning ability until it can no longer handle even small issues. Nothing wrong with your mind, you are simply trying to solve too many problems at once. That is why you need to talk about them. When you talk about a problem you have to take the time to focus on it more, slow your thinking down and arrange your thoughts in a coherent order. You also are forcing yourself to hear your own words as you speak, thus employing more of your brain's resources onto a single problem. A therapist, trained to ask key questions at specific junctures can go a long way towards keeping your thinking on track. You wrote about 20 lines of text that actually list about 15 different individual issues you are concerned about without providing any useful details about any of them. The only logical conclusion for me is that "that" is the problem, not any one or even all of these issues but the fact that you are tying to deal with everything at once. A therapist would be of great help to you. Psychological counselors don't have answers, what they have are questions. With their questions they can facilitate a methodical and organized search through your psyche to locate, organize and prioritize your issues. You may find that none of what you have listed here is actually the cause of your anxiety. But right now, your wonderful, powerful processor is jammed up with too many superfluous activity and needs assistance to prioritize. For people faced with such issues, it can have immediate positive results. You think, too much and in too ineffectively. All of your issues and many more in your life and in your future can all be handled and handled very well by your mind once you sort things out, find the real causes and apply the proper patch. A good counselor will help you sort, troubleshoot, isolate and define your root problems and find ways to solve them, deal with them and if they are beyond your ability to control, accept and limit them. Sort of sounds like computer jargon doesn't it? Well, actually, computer jargon is a lot like psychological counseling jargon. I wish you the best and believe you will prevail. I really do. *
4 :
Wanting to find a cure for panic attacks can become an all consuming part of modern day life. Basically, panic attacks can begin to take control of your life with common symptoms being hot sweats, a faster heart beat and dizzy spells are to name just a few. Naming it as fear can be explaining panic attacks as you would as something rather trivial. Some of us can feel as though the whole world is about to end sometimes so you immediately seek medical attention. You are happy that you have taken a step towards ending your panic attack woes, now that you have been given some medication. Medication and its side effects can actually create a bigger anxiety problem on the whole, so you would begin to think that the only way to cope with it is just to push it to one side. Not any more because recent studies have shown that some natural remedies can work wonders for you and your quest to stopping panic attacks for good. These can include: 1. You can relax your nervous system by simply using natural remedies like Passionflower and Parsifal Incarnate. 2. Using smells that create a more plea sent and sense of harmony can work wonders for panic attacks. Lemon Balm and Melissa Aficionados can stop pain in the chest and head areas, stomach upsets and nausea. 3. A superb herb to use would be Pan ax Ginseng. It really soothes your system but be careful not to take it for a long period of time though. 4. More great relaxing herbs would be Liquorice, Mother wort and Bo rage. It has been suggested that using green tea is a great treatment for keeping panic attacks at bay. Normal tea which contains caffeine, can help to aggravate panic attacks, but green tea only has Lithuanian which helps to control that caffeine intake. It helps to naturally calm, relax and fully restore the bodies natural state of control. Did you know that taking certain vitamins and minerals can help to cure the cause of panic attacks. They are: 1. Look towards Vitamin C and Vitamin B complex. Great for proper functioning of your nervous system and can also eliminate stress levels. 2. A healthy nervous is a must so using Calcium and Magnesium can help greatly and can also help to stop anxiety developing.
5 :
Trying to refomulate your worlds this is what I find: I'm scared all the time. Why? because...i 'm trying to find my passion, but i dont know what it is. what is your problem? i just don't care. Do not you really?...i care about to not focusing on this feeling... The major problem of being scared is when we do not know what is happening to us and how to overcome them. But YOU know. Stop living to work and start by working to live. Period. Find a new, confortable job. If the zone is not confortable for you to be change it. You are not obliged to do what you are doing if you do not like it. You are free to live. Free to decide. Look inside your heart and determine what kind of life you would like to live and go for it.
i really need to stop this feeling. it's like i'm spiraling. like i just don't care. and i really don't. all i care aqbout is not focusing oon this feeling so that i can start attracting some positivity into my life but i just cant! i 'm trying to find my passion, but i dont know what it is. I'm scared all the time. i have panic attacks. i exercise and eat well. i gave up cigarettes a few weeks ago to see if that would help but i'm just more of a mess now. it's not stopping! how do i make it stop? is this life all about drifting in circles, working to pay bills. i want to work to live not live to work but at the moment, i don;t know what to do with myself. everything i do i dont want to do it. i always want to be doing something else. i think i am making a mistake in my life. i just moved to sydney from nz 4 months ago. i don't feel like i belong here. i stayed in wellington affter i finished uni too. but i left after a few months too. i'm just so overwhelmed. there's too much there and i'm terrified of failure,. i was a b grase student. and i id a BA which just seems like i wasted so much time doing it and now i don't even use it. i'm horrified at the prospect of living this life. My job ends in 3 weeks. i got offered a job in a travel agency but i'm freaked about working in that environment. i just cant face life at the moment. i'm so horribly overwhelmed. my uncle said he will buy me a ticket back to nz. i'm just scared that i'll take this panic with me . i know i'm only 22 and i ahve my whole life ahead of me, but i'm nit excited about that. i'm intensly terrified of doing this for my whole life. 'help
Psychology - 5 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
fuck that. get on it. sacrafice you're intelligence. Let your heart do the work
2 :
Aye I have good news for you my friend. I usetoo have the same feeling. Like everything you do is pointless. Jesus is the answer. Ever since I accepted Jesus in my life, I have found so much purpose in life. Right now as I'm writing I feel so much joy for you because I know there's hope. Ask Jesus in your life and He will changed your life. Ask him into your heart and forgive you of your sins. I promise you you won't regret it. Peace to you brother
3 :
I really don't know enough about you to be able to provide much specific advice but I can provide general advice. Based on my reading of your question, you seem to be a bit too scattered. No wonder you are confused. A human mind is a lot like a computer. Just as your computer gets bogged down and even experiences crashes if you try to run too many programs and applications at once, our minds can react the same way. You obviously have a strong mind capable of rational thought and careful deliberation or you wouldn't have succeeded to earn a degree. So what can you do? You need to find a way to focus. It is imperative that you learn to prioritize your thinking. Did you ever notice people seem to feel better after talking about a problem, even if they don't come up with a solutions at the moment? Or that all psychological counseling revolves around talking? There is a reason. When we think about things, our mind can go in several different directions at once. While that is an advantage for multitasking, it can also cause us to divide and dilute our thinking and reasoning ability until it can no longer handle even small issues. Nothing wrong with your mind, you are simply trying to solve too many problems at once. That is why you need to talk about them. When you talk about a problem you have to take the time to focus on it more, slow your thinking down and arrange your thoughts in a coherent order. You also are forcing yourself to hear your own words as you speak, thus employing more of your brain's resources onto a single problem. A therapist, trained to ask key questions at specific junctures can go a long way towards keeping your thinking on track. You wrote about 20 lines of text that actually list about 15 different individual issues you are concerned about without providing any useful details about any of them. The only logical conclusion for me is that "that" is the problem, not any one or even all of these issues but the fact that you are tying to deal with everything at once. A therapist would be of great help to you. Psychological counselors don't have answers, what they have are questions. With their questions they can facilitate a methodical and organized search through your psyche to locate, organize and prioritize your issues. You may find that none of what you have listed here is actually the cause of your anxiety. But right now, your wonderful, powerful processor is jammed up with too many superfluous activity and needs assistance to prioritize. For people faced with such issues, it can have immediate positive results. You think, too much and in too ineffectively. All of your issues and many more in your life and in your future can all be handled and handled very well by your mind once you sort things out, find the real causes and apply the proper patch. A good counselor will help you sort, troubleshoot, isolate and define your root problems and find ways to solve them, deal with them and if they are beyond your ability to control, accept and limit them. Sort of sounds like computer jargon doesn't it? Well, actually, computer jargon is a lot like psychological counseling jargon. I wish you the best and believe you will prevail. I really do. *
4 :
Wanting to find a cure for panic attacks can become an all consuming part of modern day life. Basically, panic attacks can begin to take control of your life with common symptoms being hot sweats, a faster heart beat and dizzy spells are to name just a few. Naming it as fear can be explaining panic attacks as you would as something rather trivial. Some of us can feel as though the whole world is about to end sometimes so you immediately seek medical attention. You are happy that you have taken a step towards ending your panic attack woes, now that you have been given some medication. Medication and its side effects can actually create a bigger anxiety problem on the whole, so you would begin to think that the only way to cope with it is just to push it to one side. Not any more because recent studies have shown that some natural remedies can work wonders for you and your quest to stopping panic attacks for good. These can include: 1. You can relax your nervous system by simply using natural remedies like Passionflower and Parsifal Incarnate. 2. Using smells that create a more plea sent and sense of harmony can work wonders for panic attacks. Lemon Balm and Melissa Aficionados can stop pain in the chest and head areas, stomach upsets and nausea. 3. A superb herb to use would be Pan ax Ginseng. It really soothes your system but be careful not to take it for a long period of time though. 4. More great relaxing herbs would be Liquorice, Mother wort and Bo rage. It has been suggested that using green tea is a great treatment for keeping panic attacks at bay. Normal tea which contains caffeine, can help to aggravate panic attacks, but green tea only has Lithuanian which helps to control that caffeine intake. It helps to naturally calm, relax and fully restore the bodies natural state of control. Did you know that taking certain vitamins and minerals can help to cure the cause of panic attacks. They are: 1. Look towards Vitamin C and Vitamin B complex. Great for proper functioning of your nervous system and can also eliminate stress levels. 2. A healthy nervous is a must so using Calcium and Magnesium can help greatly and can also help to stop anxiety developing.
5 :
Trying to refomulate your worlds this is what I find: I'm scared all the time. Why? because...i 'm trying to find my passion, but i dont know what it is. what is your problem? i just don't care. Do not you really?...i care about to not focusing on this feeling... The major problem of being scared is when we do not know what is happening to us and how to overcome them. But YOU know. Stop living to work and start by working to live. Period. Find a new, confortable job. If the zone is not confortable for you to be change it. You are not obliged to do what you are doing if you do not like it. You are free to live. Free to decide. Look inside your heart and determine what kind of life you would like to live and go for it.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
I don't know how to make my future mother-in-law not despise me
I don't know how to make my future mother-in-law not despise me?
Ok, so my fiance and I have been together for 8 years. He left home because she hated me. I don't know why she hated me, she just decided to. Something about deciding I was the reason he broke up with his abusive ex girlfriend, because we got together 2 months after they broke up. She forbade me from going near their home, and spread rumours about me being a 'bad influence' around her work (she worked at a supermarket, and knew a lot of people around our small town). I was a scholarship student at the time, and there was no substance to her accusations. We left this town for the time I was at uinversity, and I met with and talked to his sisters who liked me, but managed to almost forget about this b*tch. I got laid off at work, and we moved to a city half an hour away from this town, because he had a high paying job offer here. Now she's up to her old tricks again. For instance, his 17 year old sister (whose always liked me) had a family get together for her birthday today. I went along - to the public venue - and was ordered to leave. I honestly thought she might have grown up during our years in Wellington. I let my fiance stay, but because I didn't want to ruin his sister's birthday, I left. I caught her snooping around the back of our house the other day. I don't think I'll invite her to the wedding, but I wish I could be a part of his family, and she's keeping me from doing that. What can I do? Oh, and I can't spend time with her. She won't let me near her. Darling, he hates her. He spends time with her for the sole purpose of interacting with his younger sisters who are still in her custody. We moved away for 5 years, and he didn't see her once during those years. Our future interactions are already doomed. It's been 8 years, and she won't get over whatever issues she has with me. Chances are, she'd object at our wedding. My fiance and I discussed it. His whole family is coming, except her. My whole family is coming. I just want to know if there's any way to be a part of his family, and I don't think there is.
Family - 7 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Refuse to associate with her. She's nothing but trouble.
2 :
I don't think "you" can decide whether or not she comes to the wedding. You and your fiancé will have to decide together. If she isn't invited, she likely will never forgive you (not him) and it will decide the future of your interaction with her. Regarding your presence at a public venue, your fiancé owes it to you to stand up for you. If you aren't welcome, he should stay away,too.
3 :
Make believe she is dead. Ignore her, she does not exist. Get on with your life. Your boyfriend should stick up for you.
4 :
His mother has major ISSUES, hon, and it has nothing to do with you. Some people are just hateful like that, or it may be that she has a bona fide personality disorder or something. It sounds as though you've been handling her about as well as you possibly could. If I were you, I'd consider having a very small nice destination wedding somewhere in the Carribean and far from her. i've seen instances where mothers like that have shown up at weddings even though they're uninvited, and still manage to ruin the day. Just a suggestion. If she's been this way for eight years, the odds of her changing are zero to none. MAYBE she'd change if you have children and she wants to be a part of their lives. But it's just as likely that she'd do even more obnoxious and hurtful things involving the children. The best of luck to you. Just remember, you're marrying her son, and HE is going to have to be the one to manage her and demand that she either respect you or leave you alone.
5 :
you need to take the power away from her and stop trying to make her like you. if she does not like you for who you are, then who cares. move on and dont think about her anymore. certainly your future husband does not want his mother to abuse you. if he does not take a stand now, he never will. do you really want to marry someone who allows his mother to run wild and not make her accept responsibility? tell her to go away, make it official with the police if necessary, and stop all communication with her. thats what I'd do.
6 :
Maybe she thinks you steal away her only son, maybe she is so jealous that her son loves you and cares you so much, anyway, if you are going to marry her son then his family is your family, and it seems that the wedding is the only chance to break the ice, be kind and generous towards her, invite her to the wedding, let she involves the arrangement of the wedding, talk to her in a sincere way, your boyfriend will see it and appreciate what you do, if she still expels you, then she is one creates problem, not you.
7 :
Motherinlawhell.com you are not alone. She will not change.
Ok, so my fiance and I have been together for 8 years. He left home because she hated me. I don't know why she hated me, she just decided to. Something about deciding I was the reason he broke up with his abusive ex girlfriend, because we got together 2 months after they broke up. She forbade me from going near their home, and spread rumours about me being a 'bad influence' around her work (she worked at a supermarket, and knew a lot of people around our small town). I was a scholarship student at the time, and there was no substance to her accusations. We left this town for the time I was at uinversity, and I met with and talked to his sisters who liked me, but managed to almost forget about this b*tch. I got laid off at work, and we moved to a city half an hour away from this town, because he had a high paying job offer here. Now she's up to her old tricks again. For instance, his 17 year old sister (whose always liked me) had a family get together for her birthday today. I went along - to the public venue - and was ordered to leave. I honestly thought she might have grown up during our years in Wellington. I let my fiance stay, but because I didn't want to ruin his sister's birthday, I left. I caught her snooping around the back of our house the other day. I don't think I'll invite her to the wedding, but I wish I could be a part of his family, and she's keeping me from doing that. What can I do? Oh, and I can't spend time with her. She won't let me near her. Darling, he hates her. He spends time with her for the sole purpose of interacting with his younger sisters who are still in her custody. We moved away for 5 years, and he didn't see her once during those years. Our future interactions are already doomed. It's been 8 years, and she won't get over whatever issues she has with me. Chances are, she'd object at our wedding. My fiance and I discussed it. His whole family is coming, except her. My whole family is coming. I just want to know if there's any way to be a part of his family, and I don't think there is.
Family - 7 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Refuse to associate with her. She's nothing but trouble.
2 :
I don't think "you" can decide whether or not she comes to the wedding. You and your fiancé will have to decide together. If she isn't invited, she likely will never forgive you (not him) and it will decide the future of your interaction with her. Regarding your presence at a public venue, your fiancé owes it to you to stand up for you. If you aren't welcome, he should stay away,too.
3 :
Make believe she is dead. Ignore her, she does not exist. Get on with your life. Your boyfriend should stick up for you.
4 :
His mother has major ISSUES, hon, and it has nothing to do with you. Some people are just hateful like that, or it may be that she has a bona fide personality disorder or something. It sounds as though you've been handling her about as well as you possibly could. If I were you, I'd consider having a very small nice destination wedding somewhere in the Carribean and far from her. i've seen instances where mothers like that have shown up at weddings even though they're uninvited, and still manage to ruin the day. Just a suggestion. If she's been this way for eight years, the odds of her changing are zero to none. MAYBE she'd change if you have children and she wants to be a part of their lives. But it's just as likely that she'd do even more obnoxious and hurtful things involving the children. The best of luck to you. Just remember, you're marrying her son, and HE is going to have to be the one to manage her and demand that she either respect you or leave you alone.
5 :
you need to take the power away from her and stop trying to make her like you. if she does not like you for who you are, then who cares. move on and dont think about her anymore. certainly your future husband does not want his mother to abuse you. if he does not take a stand now, he never will. do you really want to marry someone who allows his mother to run wild and not make her accept responsibility? tell her to go away, make it official with the police if necessary, and stop all communication with her. thats what I'd do.
6 :
Maybe she thinks you steal away her only son, maybe she is so jealous that her son loves you and cares you so much, anyway, if you are going to marry her son then his family is your family, and it seems that the wedding is the only chance to break the ice, be kind and generous towards her, invite her to the wedding, let she involves the arrangement of the wedding, talk to her in a sincere way, your boyfriend will see it and appreciate what you do, if she still expels you, then she is one creates problem, not you.
7 :
Motherinlawhell.com you are not alone. She will not change.
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